


Pea Soup

by Catclaw



Series: Dirty Little Secret [27]
Category: Good Charlotte
Genre: Eating Disorders, Gen, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-19
Updated: 2007-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catclaw/pseuds/Catclaw
Summary: Based on the 'secrets' in the All American Reject's video for Dirty Little Secrets.This secret: When I eat I feel like a failure.Can be (and in fact should be) read as a stand alone.





	

Every day when I wake up I think that today will be the day I don’t over eat, the day I start my diet and get slim. The other guys in the band tell me that I don’t need to bother dieting because there’s no weight for me to lose. But I know they’re just being nice.

But everyday I end up eating more than I should and it makes me feel so awful that I seriously consider making myself sick. When I eat I feel like a failure, because I’ve disappointed myself. Broken my promise to myself. Why can’t I resist the temptation of eating?

Even as I taste something, enjoying the flavour of it in my mouth, I know that I’m going to feel terrible for doing it, so I swear to myself that I won’t eat anything at all the next day to make up for my lapse. And then I rationalise like crazy trying to justify to myself that it’s okay for me to be eating, it’s not like I eat fatty foods is it? Though I eat a lot, I do eat healthily, that makes it okay right?

It doesn’t help that the other guys seem to take it in turns to make sure I eat. I’ve told them there’s no problem, that I over ate the day before so it doesn’t matter if I don’t eat today, but they never seem happy with that answer. Which would explain why I’m sitting in what seems like a really nice restaurant with the twins when I’m trying like crazy to squash my desire to eat.

The waiter stares down at me expectantly and my order is out of my mouth before I can stop it and I feel so guilty for ordering that much and I know that I’m going to be pushed into eating everything. And I feel worse for being secretly glad of that knowledge.


End file.
